Self-leadership requires qualities like self-awareness, self-honesty, self-knowledge, and self-discipline. Many of us try to drive ourselves forward with self-criticism; this is not self-leadership.
Self-leadership means guiding yourself with gentleness, humility, and compassion throughout your daily existence.
What Makes a Leader
In “What Makes a Leader,” Daniel Goleman highlights five characteristics of emotional intelligence that leaders have.
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand our moods, emotions, and drives, and how they all affect others.
Self-regulation is the ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods; to think before acting.
Self-motivation is the ability to work for reasons beyond money or status; to pursue goals with energy and persistence, it’s a commitment to actualizing your potential, capacities, and talents. Self-actualizing individuals often feel a sense of mission, calling, or destiny.
Empathy is the ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people and to treat others in accordance with their emotional reactions. The more we’re able to feel and understand our emotional landscape (including negative emotions), the larger our capacity for empathy for others.
Social Skills are the ability to find common ground, build rapport, manage relationships, and foster networks. With social skills, a person can influence and persuade others, lead them toward change, and foster high-performing teams.
What’s helped me in the past is to get really clear on who I am, what I bring to the table and how I can grow. I invite you to grab a pen and paper and explore what Self Leadership means to you and check in with how you’re helping or hindering yourself.
5 “S’s” Of Self Leadership – Questions to Ask Yourself
Self Leadership is about observing and managing oneself. I invite you to take some time to really think about these questions, and how they’re impacting your success or growth.
Self Knowledge – How do I see myself? What do I know about myself? How do I impact others?
Self Esteem – What do I value in myself? What skills and qualities make me who I am? What do I bring to the world?
Self-Governing – How do I make decisions? Logical, emotional, past experience? What drives your choices?
Self-Management – How do I manage my emotions? How do I express myself? Where do my emotions get in the way of what I desire?
Self Motivation – How do I motivate myself? What’s my why? What stops my motivation? What fuels my motivation?
When you explored these questions, how did it make you feel? Did you have compassion and empathy for yourself while you were doing it? Or did you fall into patterns of self-criticism? What did you learn about yourself?
Checking in with ourselves is key. Notice your thoughts, they affect your feelings, which in turn, impacts your actions. Are they helping or hindering your ability to lead your life?
What is one step you can take now to lead yourself forward on your journey?